You're gonna miss this

This morning was a rat race.  Who am I kidding?  Most mornings are a rat race.  But most mornings, my mind set is ready for the chaos and we get through.  This morning?  It really wasn't the case.

I couldn't go to bed.  Thank you Milo's sweet tea at dinner.  Kirby had been unsettled all night.  We're dealing with what we think are the side effects of a tick bite and somethings just not quite right with her.  My alarm went off at 5:45am just like every other weekday morning.  And just like every other day I hit the snooze button one too many times. 

So, I'm getting up, already behind in the race.  It's like getting on the treadmill thinking you have 30 minutes to get in 3 miles, but realize you've only got 10 minutes.  So.  It's go time. 

Ready.  Set. RUN.

Shower.  Fix hair.  Get Easton up.  He wakes up smiling.  It's short lived.  Fix his breakfast.  Ornry begins.  He doesn't want to sit still.  He wants his ra-ra.  He wants to shut the closet door.  Basically, anything other than what I want him to do, which is to sit beside me and finish this oatmeal and milk.  I know.  Putting him in the high chair would be a lot better, but you see...we eat breakfast in the bathroom.  It's where we all are in the morning.  It's easier.  If I'd get up when that alarm goes off we might partake in breakfast in the kitchen like normal folk.  But that ain't happ'nin anytime soon. 

He finally eats most of his oatmeal.  I finish getting me ready.  Lance gets Easton ready.  He wants to take his mini bat in the truck.  Lance agrees.  I think to myself, that's not a great idea, but it's not worth the fight.  They take Kirby out.  I gather our bags.  We're finally out the door.  Late. 

He hit the window accidentally with aforementioned bat.  I asked him to be careful.  He hit it again.  Accidentally.  I calmly, for the second time, look at him and remind him that we have to be careful with the bat in the car, that we don't want to hit the window.  At which point, he looks up at me, with those twinkling eyes that can turn to mischevious in a milisecond, and taps the bat on the window.  Not on accident.  Mind you, we have barely gotten out of the apartment parking.  We've got about 47 more minutes until we arrive at our destination.  This isn't looking good. 

Now, my blood pressure rises.  I can take most things. Deliberate disobedince is not one of them. 

I turned around.  Gave him The Eye.  Demanded the bat.  He refuses.  I spank his leg (lightly).  And I take the bat.  Commence crying.  Lord help me.  We are not even on the interstate yet. 

Tears continue.  I drive quietly.  Trying not to cry myself.  He continues.  He then request Charlie and Ra-Ra.  If I'm going to get an appology, I can barter.  I tell him he must ask nicely.  He says 'pwease'.  I tell him it hurts my heart when he's ugly.  He needs to say he's sorry.  'I sowwy for bein ugy' he says.  Charlie and Ra-Ra are all his.  The crying stops.

We ride.  We talk.  We both calm down.  We smile.  We go on about our merry way.  Another melt down in the books.  All be it, minor and short, it still does a number on your nerves.

But then.  The song came on.  Trace Adkins.  You're Gonna Miss This.


You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days
Hadn't gone by so fast

Then.  I cried.  He's growing up so fast.  He talks my ear off all the way to and from school.  He needs so many things on that car ride.  Baseball book.  'Yittle' books.  Stickers.  Charlie.  Baseball.  Ra-Ra.  It's like a 3 ring circus most days.  My nerves are frazzled by the time I drop him off and by the time we finally make it home in the afternoon. 

But.  One day I'm going to miss those things. I'll be riding all alone one day and I'll wish he was back there.

So, I looked back at him through misty eyes and smiled.  He was loving on Charlie and he smiled back.  He smiles with his eyes too.  Even behind that ra-ra, I could see that little face light up.  I reached back there and rubbed his tiny little leg with his cute little grey cargo shorts on.  He asked me to hold his hand.  So, we did. 

And at that moment, I smiled.  My previous frustrations and stresses erased.  He's mine.  I GET to have these moments with him.  It's an honor and priveledge to be his momma.  Even if I am flabbergasted some days.  I am human afterall.  I love that boy with all that I have.  He is an absolute joy and keeps us laughing.