Yesterday I went out to check on my babies and they were gone. All 4. Without a trace.
In the back yard, there is another nest. The babies are bigger. One had decided he was ready to leave the nest and he hopped around the back yard all day yesterday. He perched up on the trampoline for several hours, afraid to fly, or waiting for someone to do it for him. Lance coaxed him off and he flew to the fence to sit. He must have slept on the fence all night, because he was in the same spot as I saw him last night before dark. All alone. This morning he was on the outside of the screened in porch and let me get right up next to him to take his picture. He flew off and flew to the back corner of the yard. He couldn’t get outside of the fence. His skills just weren’t there yet. A little while later, I came out to check on him and see where he was and I found him in the kids swimming pool. I had to scoop him out myself.
All of this has me thinking. And questioning so much. Yes, they are just birds, but there must be a lesson here. My mom told me to sit down and pray and think this over and listen to what God wants to teach me about this. So after some time, I’ve come to this. Bare with me.
As I was getting ready, I was looking in the mirror and behind me was yet another nest. Up high on the gutter. The same place as at least 3 other nests are. Tucked in between the brick and the aluminum downspout, under the roof. Safe from the elements. Safe from any predator on the ground. There were 3 birds, bigger than my ones on the porch, peeking their little heads out of the nest. Wanting so bad to get down out of there and spread their wings and fly. Yet. Waiting. It wasn’t time yet. In my research I’ve found that once hatched the babies are in the nest around 2 weeks before they fly off. So, I’d say they were close to that 2 week old mark. But they are up there, safe, knowing and trusting that they are going to be cared for and they will leave the nest when nature says its time.
If only that little one in the back yard would have done the same. If only that momma that built her nest about three and a half feet up on the side porch, would have built hers up higher. In a fern. In the downspout crevice. I’d still have 5 little birds to watch. Yes, there are plenty more tucked in around here, but the loss of those 5 has me heart broken.
I started to compare those 5 to my own life. Trying to make sense of it and see a lesson. Because theres a lesson if we’ll just Be Still and look.
How often does my life look like the bird in the back yard. My life all safe and secure in my little nest with my family. Food being provided. Shelter from the storms. Yet, I decide to branch out and try it on my own. Because, hey, I’ve got this. I can do it. So I hop out. The landing not so graceful, but I’m out of the nest, I’ve done it. Yet, I flit and flutter on my own, trying to do life on my own, without the help of My Father and I end up hungry, alone, without the shelter of His Wing. And eventually I fail. Thankfully, I’ve not drown because of my own shortcomings, but there have been times I sure feel like I’m drowning.
Or what about the momma that made her nest too low. And something got her babies. Why did she build it so low? Was it easier to do it right there? Less of a trip from the ground, up, to build her nest. Close to the flower bed where bugs and worms are plenty. Did she feel safe on my porch, where it looked cozy? Was she too confident in her own self that she could protect those babies? No matter how low her nest was. Lance commented several times ‘that’s why they build their nest up high, so no one gets them.’ But she set her focus on the easy. She didn’t focus on looking UP to see where else she could build her nest, find security.
Yet, again. I can see the correlation between myself and these birds. I see things eye level so many times. That nest on the porch was right below eye level. But it wasn’t safe. The things of this world are eye level. They look easy. I can do it myself. I can protect my children. I can keep watch over my nest. But I can’t. I have to look above to see the bigger picture. That my nest is only safe when I place it up high, in the hands of The Father. Only truly safe under His watchful eye. He gave me these birds in my own nest to care for, and to look over, but I cannot care for them on my own. I can only care for them when I’ve fully trusted in Him.
For a week now I’ve been taking Emerson’s blood sugar, on recommendation of her genetics team. It’s been in the 60’s every morning, despite late night feedings, and early morning wake ups. It just wasn’t making sense. But, it donned on me yesterday, what the cardiologist reminded me. “You know your child better than any doctor ever will. You are the parent.” And God gave us these children to care for. And He gave us the intuition to know how to care for them. My abilities as a mother don’t come from me. They come from Above. Where moth & rust will not destroy. Where there is no pain. No sorrow. No light momentary affliction. So last night, I threw it all to the wind. Or shall I say, to the Father. And this morning, her blood sugar was right where it should be, in the 70’s!
That salvation, and hope that we have “is kept in Heaven for you, pure and undefiled, BEYOND THE REACH of change and decay.” 1 Peter 1:3-9 portrays this Hope so beautifully. As easy as it SEEMS to do it on our own, it’s not. It’s so much better to put our trust and hope in Him. He is our protector. Our reward for trusting Him will be the salvation of our souls.
Press on dear friends. Keep the faith. Keep looking up. Build your nest under the protection of His Wing. Stay in the nest. Because He is the only REAL protection that there is.
