How do you say goodbye?

How do you say goodbye to someone when you don't think it was their time to go?

How do you accept that they're gone when you feel like you just saw them?

How do you say your sorry to others for their loss?

How do you heal when your heart hurts for the time that you should have had?

Heaven gained an angel yesterday.

We lost one.

"Nanny" passed away suddenly.

I'd like to think it's how she wanted to go.  

She had told everyone when it was her time, she'd want to go quick and painless.  And she did.

I thank God for that.

My heart aches for Bob and Cathy and David.  They lost their mom.

My heart aches for Adam, Lance, Tyler, Matt, Chris, Lindy, Brooke & Holly.  They lost their Nanny.

My heart aches. 

 I lost my Mexican Buddy. 

We used to have Mexican Thursday EVERY week. 

Together.  Just the two of us.

It just doesn't seem right.

It doesn't seem real.

It doesn't seem like she's really gone.

But yet, I know she is.

I want to dial her number and hear Lance pretend to be "William" and prank call her.

She pretended she didn't know who it was.  But she had caller ID.

He'd get her all rilled up.  She loved every minute.

If Nanny did one thing well, she loved.

She loved so many. 

She loved her kids.  Her grandkids.  Her church family.  Her new friends at her new home. 

She loved Jesus.

For those of us left behind, we'll miss her love. 

But we have to be happy too because she's with Jesus.

In Heaven.  What better place is there?

There is none.

So, how do you say goodbye?

For me, I close my eyes and remember the good times.

I'll remember that she didn't suffer.

I'll remember that she loved Jesus. And loved us.

I'll remember her voice.

I'll remember, that she's where we all long to be- at the feet of Jesus.

I'm still sad.

I'll still cry.

But I'll find joy in the memories.

 

Cutest Kid EVER!

Look at those lips.  Mmm...I think I'll go wake him up right now so I can kiss him in the mouth!

Oh and those little squinty eyes...

and that smile. 

Mmmm.

I LOVE this kid!

No use crying...

...over spilled milk

You know what I say to that phrase? 

BULL HONKEY!

Really I said other choice words when this happened but I'll leave that to your imagination!

Whoever coined that phrase has never worked so hard for 10 ounces,

only to knock 3 of  it over in the mixing process.

I knew it was bound to happen on day. 

I'm surprised it hasn't already in 11 months.

Nevertheless, it still hurt...

and I still got a knot in the pit of my stomach when I did it!

11 Months

Nevermind the food all over his face and hands.

That's how we like it 'round here.

Look at the determination here...

Let's see...11 months.

Right now, you sleep from about 8 till 6:30.

You might sleep in till 7 on the weekend.

You nurse\take a bottle 4 times a day.

6:30-11:00-3:00-7:45

You eat 3 meals a day.

Your favorite food is baked cubed sweet potatoes with cinnamon and chicken.

Just this past week we started whole milk in your bottle.  1 oz in each so far.

You take 2 naps a day at school- typically an hour each.

You now sleep on a cot at school.  You LOVE the cot!

You do really well walking (assisted).

You've figured out how to make your 'tripod' (pictured above) turn.

You think you're big stuff when you go up and down the hall way.

You love to play ball.  You will bounce and roll a ball for hours.

You have a helmet now.  But your head is rounding out beautifully.

I'm glad Daddy convinced me it was the right thing to do.

You babble all the time.  Da Da, Ka (Kirby), ba ba, an occasional ma ma and du (duck).

You LOVE Kirby and she loves you.  She likes to lick you in.the.face and it drives.me.nuts.

This week you've discovered the wind and you think it's really funny and it makes you smile.

You are very smart.  To watch your 'problem solving' skills is amazing.

Only 11 months old but you can figure out how to do things if given the opportunity.

It's fun to watch you and see what you're going to figure out next.

Me and Daddy love you so much.

It seems like just yesterday that you were born but then it also feels like a lifetime.

It feels like we've all been together forever, like you've always been with us.

I don't know what we did before you.

We look forward to watching you grow and learn.

But, slow down please- it's all going way too fast.

29! Happy Birthday Boo!

Ahhh, the Great Debate...

Funfetti or Strawberry???

Funfetti this year!

Easton says he's got the best daddy in the whole world!

Even though he looks like he's fighting that statement in this pic!

Boo,

You are an amazing husband and Father.

To watch you with Easton melts my heart.

Thank you for being such a hard worker.

Thank you for your devotion to our family.

Thank you for your sense of humor.

Thank you for your surprises.

Thank you for your thoughtfulness.

Thank you for loving me.

Thank you for loving Easton.

Thank you for loving Kirby.

Thank you for being you.

I look forward to the happiest year ever!

I love you.

Ann

"If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you."

-Winnie the Pooh

Splish Splash IMMA takin a bath!!!!

OH, this baby LOVES to splash!

And we started a new game- throw the soaking wet wash cloth out of the tub and make momma get it.

Try it! 

It's HILLARIOUS! 

Easton sure thought it was. 

I bet he threw it out 50 times...

and I picked it up 50 times.

FUN TIMES!

Cow's Milk

Well, we made it this far...and I'm both thankful and proud.

When I first started nursing, I never thought I'd make it this far.  Those first 6 weeks were hard.  They were challenging.  The anal part of me wanted to know exactly how much he was getting but with breastfeeding that's not possible.  But once I got past 6 weeks and got the hang of it I knew I was in it for the long haul.  It's been a long 10 months of no dairy, dr pepper, sweet tea, chocolate (ok...so I might have snuck this in every now and then) but it's been so worth it.  To have a happy baby who didn't have colic and no spit up issues (other than to certain things that I ate but if it bothered him I eliminated it) and a baby on a schedule has been totally worth every hard thing I've done over the past 10 months and 3 weeks and 4 days.  Some may not think that eliminating those things was necessary or didn't think my schedule was best, but for me and for my Easton, it was the best. I have no doubt.

I'm thankful for the extra that the Lord did bless me with on the front end so I could freeze and store it up for those sick times and for now when I'm almost at the end.  I was even able to feed little Zoe with some frozen milk when Brooke needed some help.  That was a sweet experience. One I'll cherish forever.

However, my milk has recently taken quite the nose dive south.  I used to pump 8-9 ounces at each sitting, now I do good to get 7-8 for the whole day.  And, those numbers just don't cut it.  Easton needs 2- 6 ounce bottles at school.  I have enough frozen to last us a week or so to combine with the fresh milk but I felt like I needed to start whole milk as well to see if he has any issues.  I didn't want to wait till it was too late and have none frozen and no other options but formula. (BTW- Formula is FINE, I just didn't want to deal with it if I didn't have too.)

So, today is the day.  Today Easton got 1 ounce of this stuff in his bottle. 

{image via}

I know, 1 ounce.  You're thinking Ann, get a hold of yourself...but this is a big deal.  I think if he's going to have an allergy to it, 1 ounce would show that.  Everyone I've talked too said if they're gonna have a reaction they'll have it with 1 ounce or 6 so I'm praying all goes well.  I plan on adding a little every day to my milk until he's entirely on whole milk.  I do plan on nursing through a year, even if just in the morning and at night.  It's such a sweet bond and I'm not ready to give it ALL up just yet!

So, here's to whole milk!!!  Getcha a big ole glass....and some oreo cookies. 

A BIG milestone!

Hold your french fries folks...this is BIG news!

Easton moved to a cot today at school!

He napped like a champ...or...like Easton.

2 different 1 hour naps is success for me!

Ms. T & Ms. C were pleased!

Yay Easty!  SOOOO PROUD of you again!

ANOTHER Snow Day!

While I'm REALLY sick of snow, I never tire of snow days!

After last night's commute, we deserve some time off the road.  I left work at 3:15 and ran through Walgreens to pick up my rx, because I'm sick yet again, and then to the bank for work and picked up Easton at 3:45.  In the 10 minutes it took me to go in and get Easton the flakes had really picked up.  As had the traffic.  Our 30-45 minute comute home took over 3 hours because my fellow Nashvillians think it's necessary to drive at a snails pace when we have less than an inch of snow and ice on the roadways.

Easton was less than thrilled about his car ride.  We sang songs, we played with puppets, we cried---well, he cried, I couldn't...it would have only made my headache worse, we did everything we could to make the time go faster, but when you're sitting still amongst thousands of other drivers, there's not much you can do. 

So, today we woke up with daycare closed so we had us a little snow day.  Easton didn't get out of his pj's till after lunch, when there was too much food on them to nap in.  Note to self...he doesn't like carrotts!  I made myself a pot of homeade chicken noodle soup and some Tang (because Tang heals everything right, that's what mama says...) and we hibernated all day.  It was a beautiful sunny day though so we had all the blinds open to let the sun shine in.  It's a amazing what a little sun shine will do for your mood.  At least mine anyways.

My Nana called yesterday morning and wanted to fix us dinner so Lance picked it up on his way home.  We had chicken casserole, FRESH creamed corn and baked apples.  It was DELISH.  Just what the doctor ordered.  I should be back to my old self in no time flat!

We were able to take advantage of some nap time together.  Easton naps so much better with someone...so, I took one for the team and laid down with him.  ;)

We had fun on our snow day, but we are READY for Spring!

Bring on the buttercups!

First Night in our helmet

This COULD be some of my favorite shots.  Look at those sweet ears!

AND MMMMM.....look at that little neck!

I never tire of this view!

AND THIS...this is after 6 days in the helmet.

I CAN ALREADY SEE A DIFFERENCE!

This was just ONE week ago at BJ's

So, here we are tonight with our helmet for bedtime

I gotta get this boy some 12 month pj's before he busts out of these 9 months.

Bless him, his toes are curling under!

He doesn't like terry cloth, only cotton.  He's hot natured.

And we have to have feet in them because he won't keep socks on.

Anyways,

Hopefully tonight goes as good as the past week has gone...

but we DO have a snotty nose and I think some teefers about to poke through!

We shall see!

HAPPY SUPER BOWL-ING!

Easton has a favor...

Easton told me to write this for him, so here goes.

He would like to ask that you all pray for his very special teacher, Ms. T.  Ms. T has survived a few run in's with breast cancer but was just diagnosed again yesterday with cancer.  She may be a candidate for a radiation pill but if not she will have to do chemo.  They do feel that chemo is the better option over surgery right now.  She is young.  She's getting married in March.  'Easty' loves her. 

He'd really appreciate your prayers!
(and so would I, I am really quite fond of Ms. T)

Helmet Day!

 Today we went to see BJ (orthotist) and pick up Easton's helmet. I was a little nervous, anxious, weary about the whole situation. But, after a few measurements, a few changes to the helmet we were ready to go.  Ready to face the real world with our new helmet. 

So, this will be our 'starting point'.

We'll call this BH (Before Helmet)

Oh...those lips- I could just kiss them!

And that little fat on the back of his neck, mmmm, that's some goodness.

Doesn't look too bad from the side...however, the top view is what's concerning.

This is what you call Brachycephaly.

For more on Brachcephaly and more details about Easton's head rounding head on over to

http://fixingaflathead.blogspot.com/

I've started a public blog all about our head rounding progress.

I'll continue to update here, but just not with as much details.

So, here we go...

Here's my little love bird in his new blue helmet!

God bless this kid!

He did so well with it today!

When we took it off tonight, it REALLY looked different.  I thought it was just me but I said

"could it really be different already?"

Lance said "it doesn't look nearly as wide (at his ears)!"

Now, maybe it's just because we had looked at that clunky helmet but it really did seem a smidge different.

Hey...it's all about positive thinking right!