2 1\2 weeks left

I'm having a serious problem thinking about my return to work.  I've had a few breakdowns this week when thinking about leaving my little lovie.  I keep thinking about leaving him with "strangers" and I wonder what he's going to think.  Does he have the capability to "think" yet?  Will he know that I'm not there?  Will he wonder where his mommy is?  Will he take a bottle from said strangers?  Will he still smile at me when he looks at me?  Will they smile at him and talk to him like I do?  Just a few of the thoughts running around in this head of mine.  I laid in the bed last night for at least an hour thinking about these things.  I just can't imagine how I'm going to feel getting into my truck with no car seat in the back and no face looking back at me in the mirror...

I keep telling myself every mother that returns to work goes through these same feelings but that doesn't seem to help my heart.  This is ME and this is MY BABY and I just don't know if I can do it. 

I'm trying not to dwell on these thoughts for my last 16 or so days...and enjoy every minute with my baby boy. 

In other news...naps...well, they are still a challenge.  I've not made him cry it out anymore- simply because I have realized my time left at home with him is so short and I don't want to spend it stressing over his crib.  So...we nap where we can- swing, bouncy seat, on the couch together.  I know that's not what I'm supposed to do but I can't help it.  I have attempted the crib almost every day but no longer than 30 minutes.  He'll lay in there all afternoon without going to sleep.  I've thought about resetting his mobile every 18 minutes in hopes that he will eventually fall asleep watching it but I haven't gotten to that point yet.  My fear is that at daycare they won't have these options so he's going to have to start from scratch anyways.  Naptimes have proved to be my biggest challenge thus far.  As for night time, he has only been getting up 1 time- the past 4 nights he's gotten up about 3:30 or 4am so that's nice.  He'll nurse and lay right back down...but daytimes are another story.  Perhaps he's that baby who doesn't nap, just cat naps here and there.  If that's the case, I can handle it- I just wish I knew that was the case.  He's happy when he's awake so maybe he just doesn't want to nap, he's afraid he might miss something. 

Here's a few of my favorite pictures from the past week or so...I'm going to have to clean off my memory card-it's jam packed with this little cutie...

Yes...Kirby still lives here...though I'm sure she wishes she had her old life back. 

She doesn't get quite the attention that she used to. 

 I'm trying to make a conscious effort to do better at that.

Happy Thursday!

Annie