Instead of worrying...

I'm a bit of a nervous nelly by nature. I worry.  I stress.  I'm anxious.  About what?  Who knows.  Whatever you can think of.  Health of my family & health of myself mostly. If something happened to me, would Easton remember me?  Would someone let him know how much I love him.  Would I leave a legacy for him?  Would Lance make certain to remind him who I was?   Do all mothers have these fears?  Please tell me I'm not alone. 

 

You see, I have major anxiety over a stomach ache.  Sorry to be a little graphic, but here goes.  Not just a stomach ache, but throw up sick.  I mean, what's the worst that's going to happen?  You're going to throw up, your going to lose sleep, you'll feel bad 24-48 hours tops, but you get better.  Right?  Right.  But for me, it takes over my mind and I get all kinds of anxious about it.  This all started in 2010 when I had about 3 stomach viruses/food poisoning (EVIL!!!) in a row and was so worried about my milk production for Easton and it's continued.  Dare I say, gotten worse. 

Crazy. I know. We've all got our issues (don't we?). That one's mine. 

Here lately, this has escalated, because my stomach is routinely out of sorts. Not sure what's going on with it, but it's filling my mind.  I worry.  Do I have an ulcer?  Do I have colon problems?  Do I have a tumor?  Really?  It's just a stomach ache.  Or, as my husband likes to tell me 'it's all in your head boo".  And it very well could be an allergy, a sensitivity, anything.  Sometimes it's not even full blown stomach ache, just an uneasy stomach.  But I can get myself worked up quick about it, and it turns into full out anxiety.  I've been to the doctor.  I've had blood work done.  Now I'll go for an Upper GI series on Friday.  Hopefully to prove that everything is healthy! 

Still reading?  Think I should be commited yet? 

Keep reading.  It gets good. 

I was talking to a friend of mine last night and she reminded me of Philippians 4:4-8. 

How many times do I worry about LIFE and nothing ever comes of it?  Why do I put so much effort into this worry?  Why don't I trust what I've read and believed my entire life?  Why not pray more, worry less?  My faith.  Where is it? 

I know all the sayings.  I know all the verses.  I know it's all worthless.  But I worry anyway. 

It's easier as humans to want to 'do it myself'.  Even Easton, at the ripe age of 2 (and a half) request to 'do it myself' at almost everything.  How much easier would it be to let me carry him up the 19 steps to the apartment?  Much.  But he insist on walking up every.single.step. 

By worrying, we are insisting on doing it ourselves?  Why?  Why don't we let the One who already has our days numbered and planned out carry our load for us? 

Why not instead of worrying I think about how much I have.  About the health of my family and friends.  Thank Him for my precious family and friends.  For my job.  For good food on the table.  For SO MUCH.  Why focus on that one little thing that's out of whack?

It's something I work on daily.  Some days even hourly. Trying not to stress over the things I can't change, or that may not ever even happen. 

My friend sent me this email this morning just as I was proofing this post.  She knows me too well.  She sees my struggle.  She's heard my fears. 

The Worry Chart

• 40% of all things we worry about never happen
• 30% have already happened and we can’t do anything about them
• 12% needless worry about health
• 10% petty miscellaneous issues
• 8% real issues 1/2 we can't do little about, and the other 1/2 we can


If this is an issue that you deal with, I urge you to get in the Word.  Pray.  Journal.  But most importantly, give it to Him.  He already knows what's going to happen, yesterday, today and tomorrow. 

"Don't worry about tomorrow.  Jesus is already there!"