Daddy's little duck hunter

When we found out we were having a girl, I called it.

The boys will go with the boys, and the girls will stick together.

I wasn't sure how I felt about this, having always been 'one of the boys'.

But here of late, Lance and Easton have been having some fun quality time duck hunting.

And it's rather heart warming to see them work together to get their stuff ready and spend time with each other.

Easton thinks he is THE COOLEST kid on the block when he gets to go hunting with Daddy.

He walks around with confidence as he prepares for the trip.

He layers up, gets his new waders on (that would fit a 10 year old boy, but he HAD TO HAVE THEM for Christmas), he requests face paint, he gets all the snacks into his camo backpack.

They head out the door, boys to the duck blind, girls at home.

It's a nice break for all of us I think.

Easton absolutely worships the ground Lance walks on.

And Lance has the patience of Job when he's got Easton one on one.

He gives him all the details of what to do, where to go, how to call the ducks.

Lets him stand in the water, just because he can.

Lets him help drive the boat.

It's really a beautiful relationship.

I do miss being 'one of the boys' but I know they're building a lifelong friendship & I am so thankful for that.

VLCAD:: abnormal newborn screening

Now that we have some peace of mind and clarity, I'll update on what we've been going through. 

Emerson had an abnormal newborn screening.

They called us from the pediatricians office the Tuesday after she was born and sent us straight to Vanderbilt.

After a series of blood draws and heel pricks, it was confirmed that Emerson has VLCAD.

VLCAD was fatal prior to newborn screenings but as the geneticist has reminded us, 'we know that she has this and we know how to treat it.'

VLCAD means for Emerson that she cannot use the fats that normal people use.  Her body cannot process very long chain fats.  Where our bodies turn fat into energy, hers cannot use the very long chain fats.  There are a few different levels of this disease, hers being the mild form.  Praise Jesus.

We are still learning about this very rare disease.  The first thing they want to make sure of, is that her heart it healthy.  We had an EKG a few weeks back that was normal and an Echo cardiogram on Friday and the results came back from that today.  Results from that were all normal as well.  Praise the Lord!!!! 

With VLCAD, if her body gets too many very long chain fats, her heart has to work extra hard to try to process them.  Thus enlarging her heart.  If in this echo, or any future echo's, would have shown any sort of enlargement of her heart we will supplement breast milk with formula- a formula containing the medium chain fats only.  Breast milk is very high in fat.  After speaking with the geneticist Friday, and understanding more about what that 'supplementing' would look like, we have decided to continue breastfeeding until the echocardiogram tells us to do differently.  I don't feel it's best at this time to stop breast feeding 'just in case'.  It's a bond I treasure and wish to continue as long as possible.  We will closely monitor her heart for the first 6 months of her life to ensure there is no enlargement.  After that we will begin her on a heart healthy diet with an addition of MCT oil to provide her those medium chain fats.  MCTs are a fat source for patients who cannot tolerate other types of fats.

The second thing they routinely monitor is her CPK enzymes.  This would show any muscle break down.  That blood test was performed on Friday as well and CPK enzymes are all normal.

The danger with VLCAD comes in times of fasting or times of sickness.  If Emerson were to get the flu or a stomach virus or something else that causes her to not eat we would go directly to the hospital.  Her geneticist would then request an iv of sugar water to keep her blood sugar up until she got over the virus.  To me, it sounds like it all starts with her blood sugar.  If we keep that in check in times of sickness, we are on the safe side.  We are all now on high alert for germs and sickness, even more so than before. I don't think God could have given her to a more perfect family as far as germ awareness goes.  If you know me at all, you know that I am a major freak when it comes to germs and sickness.  So, if I ask you if you are healthy if you're coming for a visit or to wash your hands

For now, times of fasting, for Emerson means anything over 4 hours.  So she MUST eat every 3-4 hours around the clock for at least the next year.  At that point we will evaluate how her body responds to no food for certain periods of time and go from there.  So, don't ask me if my child is sleeping through the night yet, cause, that's a no. 

We now have a geneticist, a cardiologist and soon we will have a nutritionist to help with her diet (and ours).  If she's going to be on restriction, we all are.  We could all stand to be on a heart-healthy diet.  I never could have imagined having a team of doctors looking over my child's health but I am thankful for the amazing children's hospital that we have close by and for this group that knows about this disease. 

This is all I know for now.  At least all I feel somewhat comfortable having an educated discussion about.  There are many things we don't yet know.  What her life will look like, only time will tell. Her doctor did say that he expects her quality of life to be excellent and as a mother, you can't ask for more.

Yes, this diagnosis is heartbreaking.  Yes, this could cause some 'disruption to our lives' in the future.  But I am so very thankful for newborn screening and that we KNOW this about Emerson and we know how to care for her the very best we can.

The doctor told us best case scenario would be that we caught this early enough and that hopefully all we will have to do is monitor her through her life but she'd never show any symptoms or complications. 

We are believing in best case scenario.  We ask that you pray for that for her as well. 

 

God has really been working on me lately.  My faith.  Sitting still.  Believing.  But that's for another post.

Content. My word for 2014.

Ok. Here we go.

My word of the year is CONTENT.

I'm reading Calm My Anxious Heart as I get time and it's speaking volumes to me.

I like control.

"I have many uncontrollables in my life."

I try to 'Help' God in so many situations.

In my helping I develop anxiety.

Me and anxiety DON'T MIX.

I can make a mountain out of a mole hill quicker than you can blink.

Add my children into the mix, and I can get into a mess quick.

HOWEVER.

"When we take over and try to control what happens we take our focus off the ONE who is in control and put our eyes on our circumstances."

 

But Psalm 16:5 says

LORD YOU HAVE ASSIGNED ME MY PORTION AND MY CUP, YOU HAVE MADE MY LOT SECURE.

What happens to my husband, my children, my family, my friends, me.

It's already assigned.

My anxiety, my fears, my worries, can't change a thing. 

So why waste time?

 

As I {work to}accept my portion and that it was chosen for me my heart becomes much less anxious. Content. Quiet.

So. I'm striving for contentment in 2014.

A Christmas Recap

Our Christmas was a sweet one.

The first as a family of four.

The first in our new house.

 

 

It didn't feel much like Christmas this season as we have been home bound since Emerson's birth trying to avoid germs and keep her healthy, but it finally felt like Christmas on Christmas Eve. 

Better late than never I suppose.

 

Daddy did most of the shopping, except for what I ordered online from some of my favorite handmade gals.  I did do a little Santa shopping when I'd run into Target for diapers or other necessities.

 

Christmas eve was spent at my Nana's.  A yearly tradition.

 

 

When we got home we made Reindeer Food and left it on the sidewalk so the Reindeer could find our house. 

This was a first for us, but I can see it becoming a tradition!

I love me some tradition.

Also, a first for this year, was Christmas PJ's for the kids.

It was fun to give Easton something Christmas Eve to snuggle up in.

I can't wait to do this each year for both of my babies.

 

 Every year we read The Night Before Christmas.

I get a little sentimental every year on this.

This is the same book my mom read to me for so many years.

 

 Our big event this year, was leaving Santa the ra-ra.

We had prepared Easton for this for about a month.

He was such a big boy about it.

After we put on pj's and sat out cookies for Santa, he took it and set it right on the plate.

He stood there looking at it for a moment, then walked a way.

You better believe the next morning that was the first thing he checked.

He stood there to see it was gone and the cookies had been eaten and he got a little sad.

He quickly perked up though. 

 

Christmas morning started early, just like every other morning.

After opening gifts at home, we made our rounds to our families houses.

It's always a full day!

I keep thinking we'll say 'come to us' each year, but each year, we continue to make the rounds.

 

 

 

Camo was the theme again this year.

Easton wanted anything and everything Duck Hunting related.

He's a big fan of anything daddy does.

Emerson was such a good baby all day long.

Sweet as sugar.

Sleeping through most of the fun.

 

Another Christmas has come and gone.

Typically I get a little weepy after Christmas, but this year I'm kinda glad to see it go.

I love the season, but this year just didn't feel like Christmas to me.

It's gotten so materialistic and it just doesn't sit right with me.

I want to go back to Jesus. 

I want to make sure Easton KNOWS that the reason for Christmas is Jesus.

We talked about the Nativity scene this year a lot.

But we also talked about the presents.

It's a hard thing to try to take the commercialism out of Christmas when it's always 'what do you want for Christmas?' from every direction

.

I think a happy medium is where we sit.

Focusing on Jesus.

Being together.

Gifts.

 

Having a child does bring so much magic to the home.

It's so rewarding to see their little faces light up.

I'm so thankful for this little family.
More than gifts, or tradition, or lights or baked goods.

The people are my favorite.

 

Merry Christmas Friends!

 

 

 

 

 

Brother meets Sister

 

This was the moment I was most anxious about for 9 months.

How would the little boy that had my 100% love & attention do with a baby in my arms?

My first born, having to share his mommy.

How would I leave him to go to the hospital?

How would he sleep without me and Lance?

Would he understand that she's ours forever?

Would he love her?

Would he still love me?

The list could go on.

 

But.

All those concerns and fears were erased the moment my little ham sammich walked in the door.

I was so anxious for him to get there Saturday morning.

I could hardly contain my excitement.

 

When he walked in and saw me holding her, he was a bit shy.

It took him some time to warm up to her, and even a bit to me, but within minutes, he was in love.

Just like the rest of us.

 

See???

This has been quite an adjustment for us all, but this boy has nothing but love for his little sister.

He's so gentle.  So tender.

Kisses her head and so kindly hugs her.

I couldn't be more proud of the way he's adjusted to her being in our little family.

I can't wait to watch him love and protect her as they get older.

And I can't wait to see how she'll look up to him and admire him.

She's got the big brother I always dreamed of as a little girl.

 

These two...my heart is SO full!

A Sweet Saturday::Birth Story Part 2 of 2

If you missed the first part of the Birth Story, start here. 

This could be lengthy.  I'm a big fan of details.  And I don't want to ever forget these.

So, where we left off...Friday after a full day of fun, the night began to wind down.

About 8:30pm I started feeling quite uncomfortable.  I really thought it was because I'd done so much through the day and I'd been folded over the sewing table for a few hours.  I sat down on the couch but couldn't quite get comfortable.  A trip to the bathroom would surely relieve some pressure.  No luck.

I came back upstairs after a few more painful episodes.  I decided to lay down on the couch in hopes that relaxing would help me to get comfortable.  No luck.

About 9:15 we decided it was time for Easton to go to bed.  We were having such a good time together upstairs the time had gotten away from us.  We all headed downstairs.  I tucked Easton in and laid down with him for a minute and said his prayers. 

The pain was not letting up.  Lance and I talked about it and he said he agreed that I'd probably just done too much.  He suggested a bath and then going to bed. 

I got in the bath and tried to relax but that wasn't happening.  I'd never experienced 'natural labor' before since I was induced with Easton so I wasn't sure if what I was feeling was the real deal or false labor.  I consulted Dr. Google who really was no help.  After I got out of the tub I decided to page my doctor and give him my symptoms.  An hour of pain, about 4-6 episodes total.  He suggested drinking 24 ounces of water as fast as I could to see if that would slow the pain, if it did, it was false labor.  If not, it's the real deal. 

I went to check on Easton, who was still awake at this point.  He wanted me to get back in the bed with him.  I just knew.  I had a gut feeling, this was it.  This was the last time that I'd get my big belly self up in his bed and lay with him.  As I laid there, my nose began to tingle and warm tears filled my eyes.  I stroked his sweet little head until he fell to sleep tucked right up next to me.  As I loved on him, the tears fell like rain drops.  Things were about to change.  Forever.  For the good.  But change.  Ready or not. 

Finally the pain was too much and too close to continue laying there quietly and still.  As to not wake him, I rolled out of his bed and made my way back to our room where I tried to convince Lance this was it.  He suggested the water, but I knew I'd throw up if I guzzled water like that. 

I text my mom, dad and best friend to let them know I was pretty sure I was in labor, and to be on-call.  Lance called his mom.  We decided she'd come to our house and sleep with Easton and bring him to the hospital in the morning. 

Lance went and got Easton up and laid him in our bed while I lay there contracting about 3-4 minutes apart.  Walking around seemed to provide some relief, so I paced the floor while we waited for my mother-in-law to arrive.  Once she arrived we woke Easton up to let him know what was going on.  This seemed like the best idea since we hadn't previously discussed a baby would be coming home with us in a few short days.  He seemed ok with everything.  He hugged and kissed us and we told him we'd see him tomorrow.

Looking back, I'm so thankful that it happened like this.  As I mentioned before, I was scheduled to be induced on December 2.  Had that really happened, I'm pretty sure I'd have been an emotional mess on Sunday before.  It would have been a hard week.  A 'this is our last Monday...this is our last dinner...this is our last...'  For me, I think it would have just been too much. 

My contractions were hard and strong about every 2 minutes.  As I stood on the step to get into Lance's truck a contraction came and I focused hard on the clock.  11:19pm.

The drive to the hospital is about 40-45 minutes.  I was certain we'd never make it.  I tried to keep my eyes closed because seeing each exit was torture.  I've driven that drive a million times in my 31 years.  I know about how many minutes it is from one exit to the next, certainly one exit to the destination.  As I'd peek through my clenched eyes from time to time I realized we were making pretty good progress.  I prayed the whole way.  Begging Jesus to ease the pain.  Let me make it.  Please don't let my water break.  Please let me be able to get an epidural. 

At one point Lance said 'this is like what you see in the movies!'  I assume he was talking about the hollering and mild acrobatics that were going on in the front passenger seat of his truck. 

Finally, we arrived at the exit.  We sat at the light, made a left turn and head about a mile more to the hospital.  He dropped me off at the door and I walked in to the kind lady at the L&D desk.  She asks me to fill out paperwork.  Ain't happ'nin lady!  Lance came to the rescue and signs the necessary paperwork.  She called for the nurse and they came and wheeled me back.  Upon entering the triage room, the nurse checked me and informed us that I was already dilated to 9cm. 

Can I get an epidural?  Please OH PLEASE God, can I please get an epidural.

I'd said since I found out I was pregnant with Emerson, I'd take the epidural upon arrival to the parking garage.  The contractions I'd felt when induced with Easton were plenty of feeling for me. 

They transferred me to another bed to wheel me in the delivery room.  The nurses in there confirmed that they'd get me an epidural just as fast as possible.  Finally the angel appeared with the needle and magic potion and somehow I was able to sit still for the insertion of the epidural.  They assured me the current contraction would be the last big one I'd feel.  They were right. 

My doctor made it and we did a few pushes.  He left the room for a bit and I pushed with Lance and the nurse for a little bit.  Finally, about 40 minutes later, at 1:27am, early Saturday morning, Emerson Sloan was born!

8 pounds, 11 ounces of pure sugar.

19 inches long.

 

And she's had us all around her little tiny finger ever since!

We are all smitten.  In love.

One of each. 

My boy that made me a momma.  This little girl, who is so precious and sweet.

Healthy & Beautiful.

Thank you Jesus for the blessing of these children.

It was a good Friday:: Birth Story Part 1 of 2

Little did I know this would be our last Friday, just the two of us. 

But now, sitting here, looking back, I wouldn't have done anything any different.  Except maybe sneak a nap in somewhere. 

So, for memory's sake...lets replay it.  Shall we?

Friday is donut day for the boys.  Since we've been staying home, Easton hasn't had Friday donuts, but this Friday, we decided to meet Daddy for some sugary goodness.

After donuts, we headed to pick up a Ruler I needed to ship.  We took the ruler to be shipped and then we went to Target. 

We had a nice leisurely stroll through Target.  We picked up a few necessities, Easton got a new Christmas cup with a crazy straw.  We bought 2 lunchables for our next adventure, The Movie's.

After Target we mosied on over to the theatre to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, 2.  We were late.  When I was packing our snacks into my purse, one of our lunchables was expired so we had to go back in Target and go all the way back to the grocery section to get a not expired lunchable. 

We bought our movie tickets.  We stopped at the concession stand before we headed to Theatre 6.  Medium Popcorn and Medium Dr. Pepper.  $12.

We were the only ones in the theatre.  He'd been with Lance to the movies before, so he knew what to expect.  He kept asking 'when are more people gonna come?'  "Are we the only ones in here?'  We ate our lunch and our popcorn and enjoyed the movie.  I'm thankful that the theatre was empty because that gave him freedom to roam and explore our aisle and the one below.  And talk.  Bless.  He hasn't mastered being quiet or whispering just yet. 

 

 

We made it through almost the entire movie and headed out to the lobby.  The games in the lobby might have been more fun for him than the movie.  We spotted a Photo Booth and had to get our picture made.  I'm glad I didn't say no. 

 

Me and My Boy.

 

After the movie, we headed home for naptime.  I was feeling extra ambitious, I suppose.  Typically, the past few weeks, at naptime, I head upstairs to the bonus room to rest myself.  However, this day, I started cleaning.  I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned.  Sweep.  Vacuum.  Mop.  Bathrooms.  Laundry.  Kitchen.  Dishes.  Pick up.  It was spick and span. 

 

Christmas Music on Pandora, Stovetop Potpourri, Easton napping, clean house.  I sat on the couch for a bit and waited for time for Easton to get up. I posted this pic on IG, wondering if maybe, just maybe, this would be the last time I cleaned before Emerson made her arrival. 

 

A friend stopped by to pick up 2 stockings I made.  We visited for a bit and she headed home. 

 

Lance got home and we all headed upstairs.  The boys watched tv and played and I worked on a burp cloth, taggy blanket order for mom.  I started cutting some felt for a felted garland I was going to make but the pain was overpowering my need to craft.

 

It was a perfect Friday indeed.  I don't know anything I would have done any differently.  Had we known what was coming later that night, I'd wish for Lance to have been with us all day.  But it was just me and my boy.  A sweet day, just the two of us. 

 

Our last Friday together, just me and him.