Growing up, gaining independence

He's growing up right before my very eyes.  Sometimes he still wants to be my baby and have me hold him, or help him but so many times, he wants to 'do it myself' or 'I can do that!'

Last night after bath, I'd rubbed him down with our special magic lotion (for his eczema) and it was time to put jamma's on.  We went in his room and I grabbed a pair of cotton pants and helped him get them on.  One leg at a time, holding on to my shoulders while he stepped in.  It came time for the shirt and he wanted to pick that out on his own.  Forget jamma shirts, he wants a t shirt.  He went to his closet and picked out his MY MOM ROCKS shirt (that's my boy!).  I took it from him assuming he'd want my help, but he told me he could do it himself. 

He held that little shirt upside down and backwards and asked if it was the right way.  I showed him which side was the front.  He flipped it around.  Held the front under his chin and started working the back of it over his head.  Once his head popped through that smile peeked out and those eyes cut up at me.  Slowly, one arm at a time, with a few questions of 'where is the arm?' he finally got it.  Left, then right.  He very proudly straightened it all out and smiled. 

Part of me was beaming, yet part of me wanted to burst out in tears.  My little boy, three and a half years old is growing up right before my very eyes. 

We headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth.  I sat him up on the counter and again, 'I can do it myself.'  Sure enough, he pulled out the toothpaste, squirted it on his toothbrush and ran it under the water.  He began brushing, just as I've done so many nights.  Saying 'eeeeee' to get those front ones good and clean and 'open wide' to get the big chompers in the back.  Spitting when he filled up with 'all those bubbles!!!' and rinsing when he was done. 

As I sat there watching him I couldn't help but think that in a few short months I'd be grateful for the fact that he can do these things on his own as I'll be tending to his new baby sister, but for now, it makes me a bit weepy.  The little boy who once depended on me for everything, can now do so much on his own. 

As bedtime approached, we were saying our 'good-nights' to daddy upstairs and the little baby boy was back.  With Charlie in hand and Ra-Ra in his mouth, that request to 'pick me up' came out.  I gladly picked him up, rested him up over the top of my ever growing belly and headed to his room.  His arms around my neck and head rested on my shoulder, I was thankful for that little moment of 'baby' that was still there.   

This growing up stuff ain't easy.  Rewarding yet challenging.  Inevitable yet painful.  BUT!  I'm so thankful that I can watch him grow.  And thankful that he's mine.